Get CELTA certified to teach English as a foreign language: English not required!: February 2013

Monday, February 18, 2013

We’re Cambridge ESOL. We’re experts. Give us your money!

Here is Cambridge English Language Assessment’s mission statement: “To be the experts in language assessment: delivering excellence and innovation.”

Here are errors that I found in Cambridge English Young Learners (YLE): A guide for parents. Good job delivering all that excellence, Cambridge. What would the world do without illiterate and greedy fuckwads like you to dumb down the language. Again, good job! You’re so awesome.

“[T]hat” is the wrong pronoun. It should be “who.”

This is an agreement error. “[C]hild” is a singular noun. “[T]heir” is plural pronoun.

“[T]hat” is the wrong pronoun. It should be “who.”

This is an agreement error. “[C]hild” is a singular noun. “[T]heir” is plural pronoun.

Support is not something that can be purchased on ebay by the lot. The author means “a lot.”
Agreement error. “[C]hild” is a singular noun. “[T]heir” is plural pronoun.

The pronoun “they” has no antecedent.

What is “The three Cambridge English?” Is that the name for the broken English that is used at Cambridge ESOL?

This is an agreement error. “[C]hild” is a singular noun, and it is being used with plural pronouns.

Don’t be so proud, Germaine Teh Jhee Wei. You got conned by a bunch of illiterate riffraff masquerading as educators. I would take that certificate and use it to wipe your ass. That’s what it’s worth.

Original PDF location: http://www.cambridgeenglish.org/exams-and-qualifications/young-learners/

Location of the copy that I made from the original source: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0ByAKBmn_5EuJbFNTS01hMUZ4OUk/edit?usp=sharing

Young Learners webpage: http://www.cambridgeenglish.org/exams-and-qualifications/young-learners/

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Steve Oakes, Head of Teacher Training at International House Budapest

Steve Oakes is the Head of Teacher Training at International House Budapest. IH Budapest offers a cheap CELTA course. Students of this course receive poorly written, ungrammatical documentation referred to as “the bendy file,” because it is so skimpy that it bends.

I witnessed a bank robbery recently. The robber was caught the next day. I wish I could have told the bank robber before he committed the crime that if he felt that he had to resort to crime, he could rob people legally in the EFL field, without having to threaten people with guns. Anyone can excel in the EFL field, and the ability to create a grammatical sentence is not required, as evidenced by Mr. Oakes.

Here are some of the problems that I found in Mr. Oakes’ IH Budpaest biography page. I reported these problems to Mr. Oakes in a letter that was delivered to IH Budapest on February 20, 2012. I have not received a response from Mr. Oakes. I reported these problems to Dr. Mike Milanovic, Chief Executive of Cambridge ESOL, in a letter dated March 5, 2012. I have not received a response from Cambridge ESOL. As of February 6, 2013, Mr. Oakes' biography has not been revised.

Quoted text is in red. My revision is in blue.

"I immediately fell in love with teaching and made an instant career change, scraping by as a volunteer/lowly paid (and untrained) teacher for awhile and then going to Japan in July 1989, where I worked as a highly paid (and marginally trained) teacher for a few years."

"[a]while" is an adverb. An adverb cannot be made the object of a preposition. What you mean is "a while."
"going to Japan in July 1989" is a dangling participle. This becomes clear when some of the optional elements are removed, as follows:

I immediately fell in love with teaching and made an instant career change and then going to Japan in July 1989.

To correct this problem, you might change "going" to a verb and place it in a separate clause. Here is an example:

I immediately fell in love with teaching and made an instant career change. In July 1989 I went to Japan….

Cambridge University ESOL: Experts in language assessment, but shit at English

Description: Here are problems in the Cambridge ESOL Teaching Awards Complaint Form, dated July 2007. Quoted text is in red.

"When Cambridge ESOL receives the signed complaint form, we will forward it to the centre, who will be asked to provide a formal response to the issues you have raised."

While a center has people in it, it is not a person. Accordingly, "who" is the wrong pronoun.

"Cambridge ESOL will advise you and the centre on the outcome of your complaint usually within twelve weeks of the receipt of the completed complaint form. However please be advised that some complaints may take longer to investigate."

"[O]n" is the wrong preposition. It is not "on the outcome." It is "of the outcome."
There should be a comma before "usually."
There should be a comma after "However."

"For all complaints, Cambridge ESOL undertakes to keep centres and candidates informed of progress."

This is poorly written. "[U]ndertakes" is not the appropriate word here. You might want to use "endeavors."
Placing the modifier at the beginning of the sentence is awkward.
"[P]rogress" is vague and not clearly defined.

"It is not possible to investigate spoken comments that were made or incidents that took place during the course where there is no record of them"

There is no period at the end of this sentence.
"[W]here" indicates a location. Since you are talking about an absence of a record, I would suggest using "in the event that" instead of "where."

"I understand and agree that as part of the complaints procedure, my complaint, my portfolio and other relevant documents and correspondence will be looked at by the independent complaints investigator…."

There should be a comma after "portfolio."
I would suggest using "examined" instead of "looked at."

Bad English for teenagers

Send your child to International House New York, where he or she can learn bad English.

“[C]hild” is a singular noun. It is incorrectly being referred to with the plural pronoun “they.”

“And for added protection, we have teamed up with Student Guard Insurance to provide coverage for your child while they’re in the United States.”

Source: http://www.ihnewyork.com/english-for-teenagers-nyc.htm

Take the Executive English course at IH New York and enjoy an exciting business career in the mail room

The “language services” have “customized options,” not the business professionals, which is what this sentence saying.

“We offer language services for corporate and business professionals with flexible, customized options ranging from one-to-one tuition, mini groups of six and tailor-made closed courses for companies - at IH or in your own place of work.”

How does IH New York have a location in its location in Manhattan? Is IH New York’s location in a different dimension?

“And our location in our location in busy Midtown Manhattan makes IH New York the perfect place to study Business English in New York!”

Source: http://www.ihnewyork.com/business-english-new-york.htm

International House World Organization: Provide great environments to learn

It would be nice if the aims of International House included writing grammatical sentences that make sense. The sentence below has faulty parallelism and bad punctuation. It is also very poorly worded.

“The aims of IH remain essentially the same as in Haycraft’s day, with a dedication to promoting international understanding through education, provide great environments to learn English and to take foreign-language classes and the raising of teacher-training standards worldwide.”

Source: http://www.ihnewyork.com/ih-new-york.htm

About International House World Organization

If International House World were so committed to “implementing high standards of quality,” I think it would see the agreement problem in the sentence below. “[N]etwork” is a singular noun. The verb to be should be conjugated as “is,” not “are.” The verb must agree with the subject, not the object of a prepositional phrase.

“The International House World Organization (IHWO) is a network of language schools worldwide that are committed to implementing high standards of quality and innovation in education and training.”

Source: http://www.ihnewyork.com/ih-new-york.htm

IH New York: We can’t write, but we want to teach you English

"Students enjoy the benefits of learning English at a world-class university campus with modern spacious classrooms while also being able to take advantage of being based in one of Manhattan’s most desirable neighborhoods!”

This is saying that the students are based in one of Manhattan’s most desirable neighborhoods. What IH New York means is that the university campus, where the school rents space from, is based in one of Manhattan’s most desirable neighborhoods.

Source: http://www.ihnewyork.com/

Monday, February 11, 2013

Juliet Wilson: Expert in language assessment, but not so hot with English

31 January 2012

Dear [UNDISCLOSED],

CELTA Course – C11 HU050 IH Budapest

I am writing in relation to your complaint about the CELTA course at C11 HU050 IH Budapest.

As you are aware your portfolio, the Assessor’s report on the course were examined at a recent Award meeting here in Cambridge.

The final Fail grade was confirmed. It was judged that there is not enough evidence in your portfolio to support a Pass grade.

In your original email you indicated that you wished to appeal the grade, in light of your confirmed grade, please could you confirm whether you wish to pursue this matter?

Yours sincerely

Juliet Wilson
Director
Customer Services
Cambridge ESOL
________________________________________
Cambridge ESOL Teaching Awards
I Hills Road
Cambridge
CB1 2EU

web-site: www.CambridgeESOL.org/teaching

Experts in Language Assessment

“As you are aware your portfolio, the Assessor’s report on the course were examined at a recent Award meeting here in Cambridge.”

I have no idea what “As you are aware your portfolio” means.
“[R]eport” is a singular noun. It needs a singular verb. It should be “was examined,” not “were examined.”

“In your original email you indicated that you wished to appeal the grade, in light of your confirmed grade, please could you confirm whether you wish to pursue this matter?”

Two main clauses are separated by a comma. The first comma should be replaced by a period.
I would say “could you please,” instead of “please could you.”